FIC: Rarely Pure and Never Simple, Part 2/3

[waldos_writings]

Title: Rarely Pure and Never Simple, Part 2/3
Pairing: Jack/Ianto by and large, but there are literally half a dozen others touched on.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 8100 (all parts together)
Summary:  Torchwood Three, alcohol, camping and the brilliant idea to play Truth or Dare.  This'll end well.
Written for: rounds_of_kink, prompt by deannawol - A bottle of alien Absinthe kink: truth or dare, no pairing specified.
Author's Notes: This is very,  very, late.  My apologies to ROK and to Deannawol, hopefully the fact that it's 8000+ words and full of sex will make up for that. :)  Beta'd by a crew of thousands.  Or at least 3.  kyrdwyn, invisible_lift and dr_is_in have all said this is safe to read.  Title is from the Oscar Wilde quote "The Truth is rarely pure and never simple."  And we all know Jack had to have done Oscar at some point. :)

Part 1


Ianto looked from Tosh to Jack to where Owen was snickering into his cup. “Truth,” he finally decided.

Tosh stared into the fire for a second before asking lazily, “If you hadn’t been recruited by Torchwood, what do you think you’d be doing now?”

Ianto blew out a breath, relieved that she’d started with something so mundane. “I’d just finished my degree in information science when Yvonne’s admin rang me up, so I suppose I would have wound up in a library or a museum somewhere.”

“That’s what you did in London?” Owen asked as he slouched further against his log.

Ianto nodded. “I was on the archiving team.” He fixed Owen with as steady a gaze as he was capable of in light of the drink. “What did you think I did?”

“I thought you were the bloody admin,” Owen admitted.

“Of course you did,” Ianto said with a roll of his eyes.

“Okay, okay,” Jack cut in before the discussion could deteriorate. “Ianto, your turn.”

Ianto grinned through the fire at Owen. “Owen. Truth or dare?”

Owen knew he was screwed no matter what he chose. “Truth,” he finally conceded.

“If you had to pick any member of the team that you haven’t yet snogged, to make out with, who would it be?”

Owen smiled back. “That’s easy. It’d have to be Tosh, now wouldn’t it?”

“Why’s that?” Jack asked.

“’Cause if I say you, he beats the crap out of me, if I say him, you beat the crap out of me.” Owen’s hand flapped back and forth between Ianto and Jack.

Jack leaned down and kissed the top of Ianto’s head. “You’re smarter than you let on,” he told Owen.

Tosh was giving Owen a sideways look and Gwen’s jaw jutting out as if she was holding back a comment.

“What’s your problem?” Owen snapped.

Tosh blushed in the firelight and turned away. Gwen, however, had no problem telling him when he was being a right git. “You seem to be forgetting something.”

“Am not,” Owen countered. “He said a member of the team I haven’t - oh… Shit.”

Tosh smiled the smile they all hated to see on her – the one that said she was hurt, but she’d pretend she wasn’t for the sake of the other person’s feelings. “It’s not like that was a proper snog anyway. Just a quick peck between friends.” She gave Owen a flat evil grin and slammed back her drink. “Tommy could take you on any day.” She held out her cup and let Jack refill it.

“Well, then, there it is. If I had to give a proper ‘snog’ to someone I haven’t, I’d pick Tosh,” Owen said feeling vindicated. “Okay, my turn.” Owen rubbed his hands together. He was having fun now. “Gwen.”

Gwen tossed back the rest of her cup. “Oh, do me,” she said flamboyantly.

“I thought he already had,” Jack interjected. Ianto giggled.

“Truth or dare?” Owen asked, deliberately ignoring Jack.

“Dare,” Gwen said, willing to be the one to up the game’s ante.

Owen fixed her with the kind of look she’d often associated with Weevils moving in for the kill. “Kiss Tosh. Properly.”

Before Tosh could complain, Gwen stood up and moved directly in front of her. Without a word she managed to convey to the other woman that she ought not complain. She knelt in front of the other woman. “It’ll serve him right if we get him all hot and bothered and then leave him in a state, wouldn’t it.”

Tosh giggled and Gwen moved in. Owen’s eyes grew round and Jack’s head tilted to the side as they watched the two women kiss each other breathless. Ianto’s eyes kept darting from the girls to the fire and back to the girls. He knew they were doing it to be watched, but all the same he’d never felt comfortable intruding on what was generally regarded as a private act.

Finally they broke apart. Eyes still on Tosh, Gwen said huskily, “My turn.” She moved back to her own seat, taking her time getting comfortable. “Jack.”

Everyone assumed Jack would take the dare. There was so little he wouldn’t do and he guarded his personal truths so very carefully. So they were all amazed when Jack shifted, pulling Ianto back against his body, making them both comfortable and announced, “Truth.”

Gwen knew she had to tread carefully. She could ruin not only the game, but the night if she went too far, but the chance to force Jack to pony up some personal information? She thought for a long minute, studying him in the firelight. “That Doctor of yours. Ever shag him?”

“That’s… complicated…” Jack said.

“No weaseling, Harkness,” Owen chided. “Yes or no.”

“Not in his current incarnation,” Jack answered, keenly aware of how Ianto’s back had stiffened against him. He clarified, “The Doctor… He’s not like me, but he doesn’t die either. He regenerates. When the body he’s in expires for whatever reason he creates a new one. Looks nothing like the old one, even has it’s own mannerisms. But he has the Doctor’s memories. When I first met the Doctor he was… very different. He had a brush cut, light brown hair, huge ears… We traveled together for a while and… yeah. I had a go. Or several. Then something happened and he left me somewhere rather inhospitable and then he regenerated and when we met up again… let’s just say it wasn’t the same.”

He was relieved to feel Ianto’s breath go out in a sigh as he relaxed back against him. Jack tightened his arms around him and kissed the top of his head. He gave Owen an evil grin. “Okay, Doctor Harper, truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Owen said as he finished off his absinthe and held his glass out for more.

Jack reached over and poured him another half a cup. Jack gave Tosh a wink and a grin. “Go into the woods with Tosh. Come back with her bra.”

It was a toss up as to whose eyes got wider. For a second Jack considered recanting his dare. He didn’t want to upset Tosh with Owen’s dare.

“Why is that I keep getting wound up in everyone else’s dare?”

Jack saw the complaint for what it was. “Hey, I should be so lucky.”

“No one wants your skivvies, Harkness,” Owen opined.

Looking determined, Tosh took a swig of her drink and stood up, brushing her hands on her jeans. “Okay. Let’s go.” She picked up a torch from the pile of gear on the table behind her and strode off into the trees.

Owen’s brain took a few seconds to catch up to his eyes and after a long pause he scampered after her, without a light.

The others lazed around the fire listening for anything that might give away what was going on a few dozen meters off in the trees. After five minutes had passed, Jack started yelling all kinds of obscene things after them. Gwen and Ianto both giggled into their hands when Jack yelled, “What? Trying to get her to part with the matching panties too? Don’t bother, you’d look ridiculous in lace.”

A few minutes after that Owen came out holding his prize above his head and spinning it around on his finger like a flag. Tosh was a few feet behind blushing and smiling and staring at her feet as she sat back down and stared into her cup.

Owen tucked Tosh’s bra into his jacket and rubbed his hands maniacally. “My turn then, is it?” He grinned. “Tosh.”

“Truth. I’m not taking the chance I end up losing any more clothes out here tonight.”

Owen reached over and put a casual arm around her shoulder. “Was Tommy as wholesome and naïve as he tried to make us think?”

Tosh laughed and fixed Owen with a steady gaze. “Not nearly. Not the first, second, third or fouth time.”

“You’re so full of shit,” Owen said pushing her away.

“We had all night and he was a very young man. I don’t need to make things up.” Tosh sipped her absinthe and closed her eyes, smiling at the memories. “And it didn’t take him three tries to undo my bra clasp.”

Jack gave a wolf-whistle and Gwen yelled out, “Three? What, with all the practice you’ve had?”

“She might have told me the clasp was in the front,” Owen objected.

“What fun would that have been?” Tosh asked, eyes on the fire, a wicked twinkle in them. “Okay, my turn,” she said quickly before the game derailed. “Gwen.”

“Truth,” Gwen said quickly, as though she didn’t fear anything Tosh could ask.

“Who’s bigger, Owen or Rhys?”

Gwen choked on her absinthe, not expecting such a blunt question from her demure friend. “Are we talking length or thickness?”

Tosh waved her hand in a ‘whatever’ gesture, finally starting to feel abashed at her boldness.

“Well, Owen has length, but Rhys has… overall size,” she said coyly.

“Good to know I’ve got something going for me,” Owen mumbled, holding out his empty mug for Jack to fill.

Gwen looked at the group one at a time, weighing her options. “Ianto,” she finally decided. “You’re awfully quiet over there.”

Ianto just raised an eyebrow at her.

“Truth or dare?” she prodded.

Ianto stared into his cup as if it held the answer. “Truth,” he finally decided.

“What was your first blow job like?” Gwen said and settled back to watch him squirm.

“Giving or receiving?” Jack asked and was rewarded with a sharp elbow in his ribs.

“What? It’s a fair point of clarification?” Jack retorted.

“You already know the answer to the former,” Ianto murmured and swallowed the rest of his drink.

“Receiving,” Gwen clarified, wondering why she felt like she felt awkward about the ‘TMI’ aside to a totally ‘TMI’ question.

Ianto sighed. “Her name was Heidi, I was seventeen –“

“Seventeen?” Owen interjected.

“Unlike some people I had some self-respect as a teenager.”

Jack “Ooh”ed above Ianto’s head and Owen sulked into his mug.

“Her name was Heidi, I was seventeen, we were in her bedroom and it was over before I knew what hit me.” Ianto took Jack’s cup and drained it. He turned around and fixed his lover with a steely look. “Truth or dare, Captain” Ianto challenged.

Jack chuckled while pouring them both some more absinthe. “Truth.”

“What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever put up your arse?”

Owen choked on his drink and Tosh emitted a small squeal.

“What? If anyone in this group needs to know the answer to that question, I think it’s me,” Ianto justified.

“If anyone in all of Wales needs to know that answer it’s you and only you. But I’m not willing to go any further afield than that,” Owen retorted.

Ianto was still staring at Jack waiting for an answer.

Jack turned his head up to stare at the stars and scratched his ear as he thought. After a minute he took a deep breath. “There was that guy from Frestines. He managed to get most of his arm in there…” Jack got a far-away look in his eyes and his eyebrows climbed up under his fringe.

“So you got fisted, that hardly sounds impressive for you,” Owen snarked.

“Well, that’s the thing about the Frestines. They don’t have hands as we think of them. They have…” Jack trailed off, thinking. “Basically it’s like a semi-sentient, semi-independent octopus on the end of their wrist.”

Ianto’s face screwed up. “I think I’m sorry I asked.”

Everyone laughed at that.

“Owen,” Jack said with a grin that made Owen nervous.

“Truth, what the fuck,” Owen conceded.

“What’s the greatest number of people you’ve ever been in bed with at one time and what genders were they?”

“Two women,” Owen answered quickly. “Too easy. Back ‘atcha, Harkness. Truth or dare?”

Jack decided to change things up. Besides, he wasn’t entirely sure that his last truth hadn’t made Ianto a little green around the gills, even if he’d asked the question himself. “Dare.”

The look on Owen’s face made Jack realize that Owen had been waiting for that opportunity. And that he was about to get payback in spades for the bra stunt.

“Take the teaboy into the woods,” Owen said slowly, letting Jack know that he was about to get a taste of his own medicine. “And don’t come back out until he can’t make eye-contact with the rest of us or get a smile off his face.”

“Wait!” Ianto objected with a comical snap of his head as he looked up from the fire. “How’d I get involved in his dare?”

Tosh recognized the parroting of her own words, even if Ianto didn’t. “Same way I got roped into Owen’s,” she explained somewhat sympathetically.

“You objecting?” Jack asked, his eyebrows bouncing.

“I suppose not,” Ianto drawled, acting long-suffering, but accommodating. The truth was, his heart was already pounding and his pants were just a tad tighter than they’d been when he’d sat down. He let Jack slide out from behind him and took the offered hand, let Jack pull him up and followed Jack out into the trees.



They went far enough out that they could still hear Owen’s cat calls and Gwen telling him to shut the hell up. Jack wanted a semblance of privacy, but he knew Ianto would feel better knowing someone was in earshot while they were in the woods.

Finding a suitable tree, Jack back Ianto into it. “Ever had sex in the woods before?”

“’Fraid I’ve never been much of an outdoors enthusiast,” Ianto admitted.

Jack unbuttoned his greatcoat and unzipped Ianto’s jacket. He pressed their bodies together, his greatcoat swinging around them both. “Something tells me we can get you a little more enthusiastic about being out in the woods,” Jack whispered into Ianto’s ear before tracing a path with his tongue from Ianto’s ear to his mouth and kissing him senseless.

When they broke for air, Ianto realized that it was a damn good thing the tree was there to hold him up. “I suppose anything’s possible if you put a little effort into it,” Ianto mumbled, trying to act like he wasn’t already half hard and mentally debating begging if it would get Jack to move things along just a little faster.

He felt Jack chuckle against his cheek, smelled the slightly sweet absinthe on his breath. When Jack’s fingers gently skimmed the front of his jeans, Ianto’s back arched involuntarily, following them as they moved. “You really should wear denims more often. I’ve been watching your ass all night.”

“You do that no matter what I’m wearing,” Ianto breathed into Jack’s ear.

“Fair point,” Jack conceded as he found the metal tag to Ianto’s zip and lowered it slowly; the pull between his second finger and thumb so that he could drag the knuckle of his index finger down Ianto’s underwear as the metal teeth parted and exposed them. “God, you’re turned on already. That’s got me turned on.”

“They’re over there listening, aren’t they?” Ianto’s head smacked back against the tree with a dull thump as Jack pulled his cock out through the fly in his briefs and the zip in his pants.

Jack whispered, “Yes,” against Ianto’s lips before sliding slowly to his knees, his eyes locked with Ianto’s as he went. “So don’t hold back. Let them know what they’re missing. I agree with Gwen. We should get Owen as wound up as we can and then send him to his tent to sleep. Alone. While we go into our tent and fuck like wild rabbits.” Jack didn’t wait for a reply as he took Ianto completely into his mouth and sucked. Hard.

“Oh, Jack! Good god!”

Jack smiled around Ianto’s cock, and didn’t let up. Ianto was typically pretty reserved, even in bed. It wasn’t that Jack was ever left wondering how Ianto felt about their encounters, but he wasn’t the ‘shouting to the rafters’ sort. Jack felt his own dick jump at the sudden bit of exhibitionism Ianto was showing. He was going to let Owen stew in his own juices and Jack couldn’t help but feel just a little bit of pride in his lover for that.

Jack applied all of his considerable talent and experience in giving Ianto reasons to keep shouting like he had. When he reached up and massaged Ianto’s balls through his clothes Ianto screamed again, this time incoherently, but almost twice as loud. Jack found that he was enjoying himself more than he had in decades.

Jack pulled back slowly, letting the cold air hit Ianto’s wet skin. He felt Ianto shiver and slackened his mouth enough that he wouldn’t accidentally hurt him with his teeth, and then slowly moved back up over him, feeling Ianto sag as heat replaced cold and Jack’s tongue made him see stars. When Ianto’s hand fisted in Jack’s hair, Jack relaxed his throat and took Ianto all the way down, breathing through his nose as he swallowed over and over again as Ianto leaned back into the support of the tree and came, shouting Jack’s name into the trees.

Jack gently released him and before Ianto could even pry his eyes open, Jack had tucked him back into his clothes and just as slowly as he’d undone the fasteners he did them back up and stood to pull Ianto into his arms. “Something tells me Owen will think twice before making that kind of challenge again.”

Ianto leaned in Jack’s embrace. “Hm. That’s too bad for us.”

Jack laughed and pulled him in for a kiss. “Ready to go see him squirm?”

Part 3