waldos_writings: (Torchwood fic)
[personal profile] waldos_writings
Title: Ass on the Glass
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 848
Summary:  Ianto has let Jack stew long enough.  He's ready to forgive.  He just can't believe he's going to tell Jack like this.
Written for:  the ABC prompt challenge on my main journal.  As well as The Fifth Porn Battle.
Author's Note:  SPOILERS FOR KKBB!  Character development spoilers only, though.  No plot points.  Also, you might not get it if you haven't seen the ep.


Ianto shifted in his seat. There was no reason in the world for this thought to make him squirm. None.

He didn’t have any truly bizarre fetishes. He left those to Jack. In fact he told Jack to keep them to himself. In further fact he’d taken umbrage with Jack’s insinuation that he wanted an inner-office romance. He hoped Jack understood that it wasn’t that he had an objection to being involved with a co-worker – certainly Lisa was proof enough of that - but he wanted something after the work day was over. And it wasn’t just a quick shag over his boss’ desk.

And yet here he was tapping his pen against a stack of Cardiff Castle brochures considering doing this.

He’d let Jack stew pretty good for about a week. Then he’d let Jack take him out on their date… and then there’d been another date and pretty much he’d come to the conclusion that it was time to forgive Jack for leaving.

Jack had gone back to his usual ‘harassment’, but Ianto had declined the offers with a droll comment and rolling eyes. Eventually Jack had stopped offering and told Ianto point-blank that he’d wait until Ianto came back to him. He had no desire to piss him off further.

Ianto had been a little disappointed by that, but gave Jack another few days to stew.

But now he was ready to let Jack off the hook. And some twisted part of his mind knew exactly what invitation to send.

He glanced up at the closed door to the tourist office. It was pissing down rain, which pretty well guaranteed him a quiet afternoon. He sighed and shifted in his chair again. After glancing around one more time, Ianto reached down and squeezed himself through his trousers.

He was mad for even entertaining this.

Somehow the combination of his hand and his thoughts served to make him harder. He reminded himself why he was doing this. He thought back to the last rainstorm he’d been in with Jack. They’d gone out for a walk when suddenly the skies opened up on them. By the time they’d gotten back to Ianto’s flat, they were drenched through. Jack suggested stripping in the foyer to avoid tracking water through the place. Ianto had laughed and accused him of just being in a hurry. The wet clothes had abraded against cold, sensitive skin. Jack’s hands had been quick to warm and sooth away the goosebumps. He remembered with some chagrin that he’d basically humped Jack there in the doorway and come in a very, very short time.

He unzipped his pants under the desk and massaged himself though his y-fronts as he remembered that Jack had taken him into the shower to finish warming them up… and to fuck him as thoroughly as possible. He’d found rainstorms erotic every since.

Ianto rolled his eyes as the memory washed over him. He adjusted himself and zipped his pants before he overshot his mark before going over and locking the front door to the office. He just prayed that everyone downstairs had enough to keep them busy for the next ten minutes.

He disappeared behind the bead curtain, wishing it was more substantial, and lifted the top of the copier. He glanced around guiltily one more time before dropping trou and hopping up onto the glass. He hit the start button and shivered as he felt the heat of the light pass under him. He watched the copy come out and felt himself flush. He had to be mental. Completely mental.

Still glancing around, expecting to be caught in this insanity, he hopped down and pushed the heavy wooden toolbox over to the copier to give him a few extra inches of height.

Completely mental, he thought again as he laid his hard cock on the glass and pulled the cover down to protect the exposure and hit start again. He tried a couple different angles and then selected the one he liked best. He put that one with the picture of his arse and folded it in half.

Righting his clothes, he took a few minutes to try and get his furious blush under control. He also applied several applications of glass cleaner to the copier and made sure the evidence of his other attempts were sent through the shredder.

Once he was reasonably sure he could muster a straight face he made his way into the Hub proper. Jack was leaning over Tosh’s station as they stared at a map of… well, Ianto wasn’t sure what.

“I’m putting on the coffee,” he announced as he crossed. “And, sir, a memo came in for you.”

Ianto handed over the two sheets and made a bee-line for the kitchenette. Mentally he counted. 1. 2. 3. 4.

“IANTO!”

Ianto smiled at the way Jack’s voice squeaked, but didn’t answer. Four seconds to figure it out wasn’t bad. Now all that remained to be seen was how fast he could come up with work for the rest of the team outside the hub.

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(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-17 11:34 pm (UTC)
ext_1770: @ _jems_ (Default)
From: [identity profile] oxoniensis.livejournal.com
Hee, I LOVE that! Ianto and the photocopier, and handing the 'memo' to Jack, just perfect! It's just the sort of straight-faced humour he'd totally pull of, and knowing the show, I wouldn't put it past them going there!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-17 11:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thefannishwaldo.livejournal.com
Thanks! He'd also consider himself completely NUTS for having done it.

And also, can we please get the show to go there? I want to see a cuter ass than Rhys'. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-17 11:40 pm (UTC)
ext_1770: @ _jems_ (Default)
From: [identity profile] oxoniensis.livejournal.com
I'd be willing to bet we'll see at least one bare backside this season. As to whose, though, haven't a clue!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-17 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ru-salki99.livejournal.com
hee hee hee, so funny. Only ianto would think to scrub the copier clean. Also loved Jack's reaction ^__^

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-17 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thefannishwaldo.livejournal.com
Hee! He is NOT going to get caught having done that. Even if it's only trace DNA that would only identify that it was him. And since he probably uses the copier the most that wouldn't be a big deal. But he'd be so SURE someone would find out. :)

And yeah, Jack like *shrieked* in my head. :)

So glad you liked it. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-17 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thefannishwaldo.livejournal.com
Ooh, I could do with Jack!ass ... though that looks funny. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-17 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shotgunteacup.livejournal.com
Hahah, that was great. I really shouldn't have stopped doing work to read fic, but I'm bloody glad I did.

.. Although, when I have to walk through the library tomorrow - past the photocopier - I may have to stop myself from laughing out loud.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-17 11:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thefannishwaldo.livejournal.com
Heh! Torchwood: How to pervert perfectly harmless office equipment in six easy steps. :)

Glad you had fun with it. Now go back to work. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] badwolf36.livejournal.com
I am now convinced that the photocopier will join the stopwatch in fandom lore. Wonderful things. And I love that Ianto keeps reminding himself he's mental, yet does it anyways. Hee. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarcasticchick.livejournal.com
oh, that made me giggle at the thought of ianto photocopying his bits.

and passing it off to jack with others present.

*snickers*

kinda makes me wonder if tosh didn't catch a good look, she's always sneaky with the CCTV footage... ;)

thanks for the epi tag!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dcsunset44.livejournal.com
Brilliant!!!!!

Do you think Jack would kiss it better if the glass cracked? :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sistercarrion.livejournal.com
Heheh. For some reason I had the image of Ianto passing him those copies inside one of those cardboard files. Then Jack just opening it in passing, like he does on occasion, then stopping dead in his tracks when he sees the copies. I can totally picture Jack's face when he sees the pics.. hee!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilithilien.livejournal.com
What a fantastic tag! I love how precise he is about it, getting the right height, the right angle, and then the cleaning/shredding. What a professional he is!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] empressaurelius.livejournal.com
Ooooh, GENIUS. LMAO. This was fantastic.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thefannishwaldo.livejournal.com
Now I want to issue a challenge...

How many pieces of technology can Jack and Ianto corrupt. :)

And yeah, Ianto knows he's mental for doing it... but Jack can get him to do the damnedest things, can't he.

So glad you liked it. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] badwolf36.livejournal.com
*Considers possibilities for other office supplies.* Damn you plot bunnies! And you're not helping here Waldo. *shakes fist*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 12:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thefannishwaldo.livejournal.com
Hey if he's going to do it, he's going to do it all the way. :) Might as well get Jack all wound up in public.

So glad you liked it. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tresa-cho.livejournal.com
Ah! That was brilliant! Definitely laughed out loud. Wonderfully played.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] psyko-kittie.livejournal.com
AH! Fabulous! :D

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 01:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seize.livejournal.com
I have had the spontaneous urge to jump on you and give you the most enormous hug possible. This was *wonderful!* Ah, I love how a new season brings out such a fresh crop of great new fiction!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 01:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emlyn-rune.livejournal.com
*SNERK* I loved this.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 01:47 am (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 01:59 am (UTC)
bluemeridian: Blue sky with fluffy white clouds through a break in the tree tops (Default)
From: [personal profile] bluemeridian
Oh, very nice! I can just see Ianto surprising the heck out of Jack by taking him up on one of his offhand comments that way! :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estarcollector.livejournal.com
Have I mentioned that you're a genius yet today? No? Well you are. This had me giggling so much I almost knocked my keyboard on the floor.

I love Ianto's utter professionalism, but my favorite part is Jack squeaking. I'm going to hear that in my head every time I pass the copiers at work now!

Oh, and "Tea tray of mass destruction" icon? FTW, completely.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-18 02:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] freakykat.livejournal.com
Oh I so loved that! Loved the humor and naughtiness. The characterization is perfect. Well done. :)
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