Fic: Scheduled Maintenance (Gen, Radek)
Aug. 23rd, 2006 06:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
waldos_writingsTitle: Scheduled Maintenance.
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
smallwaldo
Words: 398
Written for:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
atlantis_lvw (and it didn't get me voted off the island. Yay!)
Rating: G
Pairing: None (yes, Waldo. wrote something for SGA that's totally Gen)
Disclaimer: I'm both Russian and German. So I'm only picking on myself.
Summary: Radek's having a 'headdesk' kind of day.
A/N: Thank you to the beta crew! Czech translation byi_icie. Muchas Gracias to all of you.
Scheduled Maintenance
Radek was debating introducing his skull to a hard surface.
His first repair call had come from Sergeant Schott, the German that someone with a twisted sense of humor had recently put in charge of the armory.
“It is September First. Dein computer is asking me to change password, but will not let me change password,” Schott explained.
“Show me,” Radek said, indicating the laptop on the desk.
“It says, ‘Type new password’ so I type new password.”
Radek watched as the privacy asterisks appeared as Schott typed.
“Then it says: ‘type new password again’”
Radek watched as the line of asterisks grew longer than the first one. “You are not entering same password twice.”
“No, I am doing as the computer says. I am typing ‘new password’ and ‘new password again’. Yes?”
“No,” Zelenka said quietly, shaking his head while entering on his repair log, “Poíta je v poádku, uivatel je hloup.”
He showed him how to correctly enter a new password then went back to the software update installations from the SGC and replacing a few bits of hardware. The rest of the morning, thankfully, passed without incident.
After lunch he wanted to insist someone work up spectacular translation algorithms so everyone could work in their native language. He couldn’t believe it when the Russian botanist, Nesaule, called him because she couldn’t find the ‘any’ key when the prompt ‘hit any key to continue’ came up.
He refrained from entering “Computer is fine, user is Russian.”
At dinner he was pleased to find a friendly face in the crowd.
“Carson,” he said brightly, indicating the empty chair across from him.
“Ah Radek, perfect. I know you’re eating, but can I ask you a question?” Carson pointed at the tablet he was staring at.
“Certainly.”
“I keep getting this message, ‘you have performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.’ Now I know some of what we do out here isn’t exactly approved by any medical authority but how does the computer know what kind of operations I’m doing? Is it reading my charts?”
Radek rolled his eyes.
This time his log read, "computer is broken, user is having bad day."
So at the end of the day, using low-tech paper and a Sharpie he hung a sign on his door. “Computer technician down for scheduled maintenance. Will be back on-line by eight a.m. tomorrow.”
_________
“Poíta je v poádku, uivatel je hloup.” - "computer is fine, user is stupid."
Author:
smallwaldoWords: 398
Written for:
atlantis_lvw (and it didn't get me voted off the island. Yay!)Rating: G
Pairing: None (yes, Waldo. wrote something for SGA that's totally Gen)
Disclaimer: I'm both Russian and German. So I'm only picking on myself.
Summary: Radek's having a 'headdesk' kind of day.
A/N: Thank you to the beta crew! Czech translation by
i_icie. Muchas Gracias to all of you.Scheduled Maintenance
Radek was debating introducing his skull to a hard surface.
His first repair call had come from Sergeant Schott, the German that someone with a twisted sense of humor had recently put in charge of the armory.
“It is September First. Dein computer is asking me to change password, but will not let me change password,” Schott explained.
“Show me,” Radek said, indicating the laptop on the desk.
“It says, ‘Type new password’ so I type new password.”
Radek watched as the privacy asterisks appeared as Schott typed.
“Then it says: ‘type new password again’”
Radek watched as the line of asterisks grew longer than the first one. “You are not entering same password twice.”
“No, I am doing as the computer says. I am typing ‘new password’ and ‘new password again’. Yes?”
“No,” Zelenka said quietly, shaking his head while entering on his repair log, “Poíta je v poádku, uivatel je hloup.”
He showed him how to correctly enter a new password then went back to the software update installations from the SGC and replacing a few bits of hardware. The rest of the morning, thankfully, passed without incident.
After lunch he wanted to insist someone work up spectacular translation algorithms so everyone could work in their native language. He couldn’t believe it when the Russian botanist, Nesaule, called him because she couldn’t find the ‘any’ key when the prompt ‘hit any key to continue’ came up.
He refrained from entering “Computer is fine, user is Russian.”
At dinner he was pleased to find a friendly face in the crowd.
“Carson,” he said brightly, indicating the empty chair across from him.
“Ah Radek, perfect. I know you’re eating, but can I ask you a question?” Carson pointed at the tablet he was staring at.
“Certainly.”
“I keep getting this message, ‘you have performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.’ Now I know some of what we do out here isn’t exactly approved by any medical authority but how does the computer know what kind of operations I’m doing? Is it reading my charts?”
Radek rolled his eyes.
This time his log read, "computer is broken, user is having bad day."
So at the end of the day, using low-tech paper and a Sharpie he hung a sign on his door. “Computer technician down for scheduled maintenance. Will be back on-line by eight a.m. tomorrow.”
_________
“Poíta je v poádku, uivatel je hloup.” - "computer is fine, user is stupid."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-24 01:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-24 01:32 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-24 01:36 am (UTC)Poor guy. :)
Glad you liked it.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-24 03:31 am (UTC)I love the humor in it too.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-24 07:30 am (UTC)"Pocitac je v poradku, uzivatel je hloupy."
that's without diacritics, because I think you couldn't see them :S
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-24 07:55 am (UTC)And yes, some letters are missing.. and I know that icie has a link to a page with alt key codes that make it possible for you to write the sentence with diacritics if you want to :-)
How are your ferrets?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-24 05:47 pm (UTC)The only thing I can see being wrong here is that I doubt the systems on Atlantis run Windows. Unix is so much more secure. :D They're made to be workhorses.
(I saw a Linux bash script running in the background on SG-1 once and I almost had a geek-gasm.)
All in all, very good.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-25 02:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-25 09:17 pm (UTC)Since you have the Czech right, could you replace "dein" with "ze"? I lived in Germany and was taught German from kindergarten, and "dein" was never a mistake a German made. If someone can speak English at all, they wouldn't use "dein." (Daniel Jackson's German in "1969" is downright painful. Some of it is his accent, but the rest is the writers using Dein und Sein where no one would.)
Normally you'll just get a strong accent on "the," accidentally pronouncing "thee" with a slight "z" sound. "Ze computer..."
Icarus
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-26 07:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-26 10:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-27 04:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-01 02:05 pm (UTC)I like his solution.