BSG: Get the Frak Out

[waldos_writings]

Title : Get the Frak Out
Pairing: L/K if you want to see it that way, but really gen
Rating: PG-13 for made up swear words
Summary: Apollo bets Starbuck she can't go a week without her favorite word
AN: Written for as a series of drabbles and double/triple drabbles. Posted here as one document.

Day 1:

She slammed the door behind them. She was still burning off the adrenaline from their latest run-in with the Cylons as she pulled her gloves off. “You wanted to talk, so talk,” she bit out snidely.

“You’re becoming a bad influence, Starbuck,” Lee told her flatly. He wasn’t quite pissed, but this wasn’t a joke either.

Kara rolled her eyes; this was about Hotdog trying to pull a stunt he wasn’t ready for in that last battle. His defense had been ‘that’s what Starbuck would have done, and no one would have yelled at her’.

“Frak off, I never told him to pull that maneuver.”

“And that’s the other thing.”

Kara blinked at the non-sequitur. “Other thing?”

“Try watching your mouth once in a while. The disrespect is getting old, and again the nuggets are starting to follow your example.”

Kara glared at him. “What the hell are you talking about, Apollo?”

“I’m the CAG, Kara. The nuggets hear you telling me ‘frak off’, and they think that’s okay. It’s not okay. Not from them, and really, not from you either. Knock it off.”

Kara rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything. Only Lee would choose right now to get pissy about her language.

An evil glint developed in his eyes. “I’ll bet you my last cigar that you can’t get through a week without using that word.”

Kara raised an eyebrow. He was that serious about this? “A week without telling you to frak off?”

“No,” Lee clarified, “A week without using ‘frak’ at all. Not just to me or in front of me. Not at all. And I’ll know.”

Kara had no doubt he’d set up spies to see if she slipped, but she was constitutionally incapable of turning down a challenge.

“A week?”

“Starting now.”

“You’re on.”

Day 2:

She’d been working on getting the gasket around her fuel line loose so she could replace the hose, but it was extremely stuck. She’d tried getting at it from the ladder, tried injecting a little grease, but it wasn’t coming loose.

Leaning into the wrench, she pushed up, not noticing the grease on the wrench and her hand slipped, scraping against the sharp edge of the fuel assembly. She dropped the wrench and leaned away from the offensive machine. “Sonofabitch, stupid fr-“

She spotted Apollo under his Viper.

“Stupid frozen fuel line.” She stormed off to clean up her hand.

Day 3:

Gaius Baltar was the topic of discussion for their poker game that night. Lieutenant Gaeta had been prattling on about all the doctor’s notable accomplishments.

Starbuck threw in her twenty cubits. “Science-wise, he may be brilliant, but he’s also bat-shit crazy,” she announced.

“Eccentric, maybe,” Gaeta allowed, “But I don’t think it’s fair to call him crazy.”

Kara studied her cards. “I walked into his lab one day and found him fr-“

Crashdown cleared his throat loudly.

Ah, so you’re one Apollo has keeping an eye on me, she thought.

“Found him screwing thin air,” she amended with a smirk.

Day 4:

Kara stopped working for a second to listen. Cally and Socinus were whispering about something a few feet away from her.

“I heard the X.O.’s wife was all over him,” Socinus was saying.

“I’ve heard the X.O.’s wife is all over anyone with a Y-chromosome,” Cally snarked back.

“Well, maybe… you know, he does spend an awful lot of time on Colonial One,” Socinus tried.

“You think Captain Apollo’s frakking the president!” Cally called out, shocked.

Kara pulled herself out from under her Viper and snuck up behind them. “I highly doubt it; Captain Apollo doesn’t even approve of the word.”

Day 5:

Timing is everything, Lee realized as he stepped into CIC. He didn’t know what had started it, probably didn’t want to, but judging from the staring contest, Starbuck and Colonel Tigh were going at it again.

He wondered if she’d be in the brig by now for telling a superior officer to ‘frak off’, if she hadn’t been so hell-bent on winning their bet. She’d never dare say it to the commander, and he’d been letting her get away with it.

Tigh looked for a reason to put her in hack.

Maybe she would learn something from this after all.

Day 6:

Lee was getting frustrated. She had to have slipped at least once, but no one had heard it (or was willing to admit to having heard it). He decided it was time to step it up, in three hours he’d be forced to give up his last cigar.

Starbuck sauntered into the bunkroom and winked at him.

“You look awfully smug,” he told her.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to enjoy a cigar. I’m just really looking forward to it.”

“I’m having a hard time believing that in a whole week you haven’t slipped once. What’d you threaten people with to keep them from telling me?” Lee asked.

He waited for her typical “frak you”, but she just smiled and lay back on her bunk. “I didn’t have to threaten anyone. I can’t imagine why you’d think I would.”

“Uh-huh,” Lee muttered. He really didn’t want to give up his last cigar. While it was nice not being told to ‘frak off’ every time he told her something she didn’t like, he wasn’t sure it was worth his last stogie.

He debated goading her into a fight. It was possible she’d hit him before swearing at him, especially with the challenge still hanging between them.

But it was his last cigar. It might be worth it.

“There’ve been a couple close calls from what I hear,” Lee tried.

Kara grinned. “Caught myself.”

“So what you’re saying is that you do have restraint, you just chose not to exercise it very often.” He leaned against the table casually.

“Beats having a stick shoved up my ass,” Kara replied sweetly as she reached behind her for the book on the over-head shelf.

“Frak you,” Lee said without thinking about it.

Kara howled with laughter. “Let me remind you, Captain, that in a little less than three hours, I will not only have your cigar, but I’ll also be free to speak my mind again.”

“I’ll still be the CAG,” Lee threatened vaguely.

“And that has impressed me exactly when?” Kara asked. “Lee, this isn’t about respect. You know that. This is about a bet. One we’ve both been having a good time with, and that I’m about to win.”

And with that, she flipped over and started to read. If she didn’t talk to anyone for the next three hours, she couldn’t lose.