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waldos_writingsTitle: From the Unofficial Reports of Colonel Jack O'Neill - The Broca Divide
Posted on or about: August 11, 2000
Rating: R
Pairing: Jack/Daniel, eventually
Word Count: 2114
Summary: "If anyone ever knew I was doing this, I would have them taken out and shot." Jack takes a page from Daniel.
Okay, that sucked beyond words. No sooner do I hospitalize Carter for jumping me, do I almost hospitalize Daniel by jumping him. Just...not in the same way. I mean... that would have been even more embarrassing.
God, that was bizarre. I was walking this weird fine line where I could think fairly clearly, but I couldn’t control myself. The last thing I remembered before my brain went all prehistoric on me, was beating the crap out of Daniel.
Then I had to go and tell Carter that I didn’t remember her trying to screw me to the floor in the locker room, so she wouldn’t feel bad. This makes it a little hard to go an apologize to Daniel... since I supposedly don’t remember anything. He’d be the sort to get all pissed that I lied to her. Even if it was a white lie. And even if I only told him I lied so I could tell him I knew what I did to him so I could apologize to him.
Nice little hole I’ve dug myself. Maybe I should get curtains and move in. Wonder if I can get cable down here.
On the other hand, Daniel’s the sort who would forgive me based on the fact that I was reacting to all that histimine-virus-crap in my system whether I said anything or not, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling like a total shit.
Daniel didn’t even try and strike back. He barely tried to defend himself. Not that he would have stood a chance. I’m not being arrogant. I’m not. But I’m a freaking Black Beret. He’s a gee - archeologist.
I will not call him a geek.
I will not call him a geek.
I will not call him a geek.
I will not call him a geek.
I will not call him a geek.
Maybe after another 195 times, that’ll set in. He’s so thoroughly non-military, though. His aim is getting better down on the shooting range. Maybe once he’s cleared on the 9mm, I’ll start getting on him to take some hand to hand or martial arts. Maybe I’ll even teach him myself. Teach him all my tricks so the next time I try and beat the snot out of him he has a chance. I should probably at least ask him to learn to shoot the MP-5. I mean, if he runs out of amo, and it’s the only thing around... I’d never ask him to carry one, but he should probably know what to do with one.
I apparently screwed up the whole learning-to-shoot thing. I thought it would be better if Marlin taught him on his own and then dealt with Teal’c separately. Then other day Marlin came in and said that Daniel’s been coming in with Teal’c after hours. Daniel asked me yesterday if it would be all right if he canceled his sessions with Marlin as long as he and Teal’c went in regularly.
I signed off on it. It may not strictly adhere to military regs, but if it gets better results, who am I to bitch? Besides, I challenge anyone around here to find me statute that says a Jaffa can’t teach a civilian archeologist how to shoot to protect himself while trooping around on other planets.
Apparently it took all of twenty minutes to teach Teal’c to clean, load and fire a side arm. He was cleared the first day, and Marlin’s working with him on automatics and larger artillery now.
Anyway, Teal’c went down to practice one day and found Daniel down there having trouble hitting the broad side of a barn - Daniel’s words, not mine - and offered ‘assistance’.
Daniel says Teal’c is a very good teacher - ‘nonjudgemental’ was the word I think he used. I guess Marlin’s pretty much been an ass. So anyway, Teal’c’s teaching him and Daniel doesn’t seem to mind going down there so much any more. His scores have actually increased considerably since he doesn’t have Marlin hanging around making him nervous, so I guess it’s... okay.
I think I’ve come up to the solution of Daniel’s little housing problem. When Katherine left the Stargate project - after Daniel had gone to Abydos and the government had shut us down again - she went to live in Boulder. She asked me look over the condo she’d lived in here. She signed it over to me and asked me to either rent it out or sell it. Between the divorce and re-retiring and therapy - lots of therapy - and going back to the stargate and the SGC, I never thought much about it. I said ‘sure, send the paperwork’ and promptly forgot about it.
She sent the paperwork. I got it from the lawyer today, something about the deed being transferred or some such. Anyway, I figure I’ll rent it to Daniel and solve several problems all at once. I don’t think I’ll tell him that it’s hers though. I’m not sure he’s be willing to accept it if he thought of it as charity or something.
Which, in my opinion, wouldn’t be an all bad thing. I’ve said before that I like company. And more and more I’m getting to like *his* company. When he’s not busy being nervous around me, he’s a fun a guy. I think he’s read every book I own, so to get him back, I started reading a couple of his. Got through about four chapters of one of them before I was bored to tears. Usually I don’t make it through one, so I thought I was doing pretty good. I got him to give me the Cliff Notes version of the rest of it. Truth be told, I really didn’t give a damn about the cultural-linguistic-idiosynchrecies-whatever-the-damn-book-was-about, but the lecture was worth the look on his face because I had bothered to ask.
Most of what he said went over the top of my head; he needs to dumb a lot of this stuff down at least one more level for me; but I like watching how excited he gets when he gets to explain stuff to me. I just wish he’d learn to explain it to me when we get *home*. In the field, I don’t always have time for a half-hour dissertation when a two word phrase would answer my question. And I hate cutting him off because then he just clams up entirely for a while and looks miserable. It’s not that I don’t care about what he does... he just needs... better timing.
I’ve been trying to explain a lot of things to him lately. He doesn’t get the military mindset. “Because it’s an order” isn’t a good reason to do something for Daniel. And I’ll tell you something - it’s changing the way I think. Because I know I’ll have to justify myself to him, I have to justify any action I make to myself first.
And if that doesn’t make for a better C.O., I don’t know what will.
If I sometimes wonder about how bad things are getting for us at home, at least they’re getting better at work.
I’ll be the first to admit that I thought Daniel had no place going through that stargate in the beginning. And then he had the right, but he needed a babysitter. Now... now I think he’s going to be okay. He’ll never be military, and I’m coming to accept that because if he ever did, he wouldn’t be ‘Daniel’ any more.
A few weeks ago I was more worried about him getting the crap beat out of him by ‘us’ a lot more than I was worried about something happening to him out there, because of ‘them’. But he’s learning. Sometimes I think he might be learning the wrong things, but he *is* learning. And unless someone actually does start something physical with him on the base, I think he’ll be able to take care of himself just fine.
He stood up to a Marine Colonel. *I’d* think twice before wising off to one of those. I’d do it, but I’d think twice about it.
Oh and Makepeace, thanks, but I’m perfectly capable of watching my own team’s backsides. Thanks anyway, asshole. (Why the hell does the Air Force need Marines storming around ruining everything anyway?)
Daniel’s standing up to the General too. Well, he’s pretty well done that since day one. I’d never *ever* say this out loud, but Daniel has got Hammond wrapped around his little finger. He may not have been adopted as a kid, but he has been now. Jesus.
I about lost it when Hammond told him he’d won the “science vs. military” argument. He stutters when he gets surprised. It’s cute.
He’d probably flatten me if I ever told him that.
So now we have to actually listen to Daniel when he says he wants to stick around and read the rocks and talk to the natives and whatever.
Ah hell, maybe I shouldn’t bitch so much. It’ll keep him happy. And as long as I don’t go bug-fucking-nuts waiting for him to do it, it might be worth it. I wonder if anyone would notice me slipping a Playboy into my fieldgear. Or at least decent scifi or mystery novel or something.
Daniel gets to lug around books. I’d read his if they didn’t bore me senseless. Of course, I think they’re dictionaries or something equally as scintillating. So I guess I’m back to square one... gotta pick up a few cheap paperbacks.
I guess I’m lucky I can read anything at all again. When I was all screwed up by that ‘touched’ virus I could barely talk, let alone read. I tend to play up the ‘dumb’ thing around Carter and Daniel, but it’s an act. Yeah, they’re so smart they scare the hell out of me sometimes, but I’m only half as dumb as I act. Most of the time. But to know what I wanted to tell Doc Fraiser and to have to work so damn hard just to find and say a few words. That was... not fun.
And then when Teal’c came in and told me he’d lost Daniel on the planet, that he was probably ‘touched’ despite his allergy medicine...
I think prehistoric man was a purely emotional creature. When Teal’c told me that Daniel was gone I thought I would actually cry. Been a long time since I’ve done that. Not even when Kawalsky died. But I didn’t have any other way to express myself. I wasn’t sure I was able to handle what was happening to me and losing another friend so soon all at once.
Teal’c isn’t quite what people expect sometimes. He was so... gentle with me when I was so out of it. Breaking the news to me about Daniel and then tucking me in after Fraiser left. But I had a weird thought before the Benadryl from hell knocked me out. I wished it were Daniel there with me. I don’t know what to make of that. Maybe because he trusts me to see him when he’s vulnerable it would be easier for me to trust him when it’s my turn or something. I’m sure Tavish will have all kind of ideas on that subject, but honestly, I don’t want to analyze it too closely. Daniel’s a good friend. I knew that early on. There’s probably nothing in my life I couldn’t trust him with if it came down to it.
It’s too bad I make him nervous. I’d really rather he didn’t move out, but I know it’ll be for the best. He and Sam are going to be working late debriefing SG-7, so I’ll go out to the apartment and open it up, see what kind of furnishings are there. Tomorrow I’ll call to get the utilities turned back on. If everything is okay, I’ll talk to Daniel about it this weekend.
He’s signing out a car tonight to get home, I’m going to see if he can just sign one out long-term or whenever he needs one or something until he’s had a chance to put some money together to get one of his own. I still can’t imagine trying to start over the way he has.
Hopefully, once he gets settled we can start doing things together after work again. Or... hm... I’m not sure if he’d appreciate this or not... Maybe I’ll get Carter to set up a housewarming for him. Guess I better go check on the place before I make plans any more elaborate than that.
Posted on or about: August 11, 2000
Rating: R
Pairing: Jack/Daniel, eventually
Word Count: 2114
Summary: "If anyone ever knew I was doing this, I would have them taken out and shot." Jack takes a page from Daniel.
Okay, that sucked beyond words. No sooner do I hospitalize Carter for jumping me, do I almost hospitalize Daniel by jumping him. Just...not in the same way. I mean... that would have been even more embarrassing.
God, that was bizarre. I was walking this weird fine line where I could think fairly clearly, but I couldn’t control myself. The last thing I remembered before my brain went all prehistoric on me, was beating the crap out of Daniel.
Then I had to go and tell Carter that I didn’t remember her trying to screw me to the floor in the locker room, so she wouldn’t feel bad. This makes it a little hard to go an apologize to Daniel... since I supposedly don’t remember anything. He’d be the sort to get all pissed that I lied to her. Even if it was a white lie. And even if I only told him I lied so I could tell him I knew what I did to him so I could apologize to him.
Nice little hole I’ve dug myself. Maybe I should get curtains and move in. Wonder if I can get cable down here.
On the other hand, Daniel’s the sort who would forgive me based on the fact that I was reacting to all that histimine-virus-crap in my system whether I said anything or not, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling like a total shit.
Daniel didn’t even try and strike back. He barely tried to defend himself. Not that he would have stood a chance. I’m not being arrogant. I’m not. But I’m a freaking Black Beret. He’s a gee - archeologist.
I will not call him a geek.
I will not call him a geek.
I will not call him a geek.
I will not call him a geek.
I will not call him a geek.
Maybe after another 195 times, that’ll set in. He’s so thoroughly non-military, though. His aim is getting better down on the shooting range. Maybe once he’s cleared on the 9mm, I’ll start getting on him to take some hand to hand or martial arts. Maybe I’ll even teach him myself. Teach him all my tricks so the next time I try and beat the snot out of him he has a chance. I should probably at least ask him to learn to shoot the MP-5. I mean, if he runs out of amo, and it’s the only thing around... I’d never ask him to carry one, but he should probably know what to do with one.
I apparently screwed up the whole learning-to-shoot thing. I thought it would be better if Marlin taught him on his own and then dealt with Teal’c separately. Then other day Marlin came in and said that Daniel’s been coming in with Teal’c after hours. Daniel asked me yesterday if it would be all right if he canceled his sessions with Marlin as long as he and Teal’c went in regularly.
I signed off on it. It may not strictly adhere to military regs, but if it gets better results, who am I to bitch? Besides, I challenge anyone around here to find me statute that says a Jaffa can’t teach a civilian archeologist how to shoot to protect himself while trooping around on other planets.
Apparently it took all of twenty minutes to teach Teal’c to clean, load and fire a side arm. He was cleared the first day, and Marlin’s working with him on automatics and larger artillery now.
Anyway, Teal’c went down to practice one day and found Daniel down there having trouble hitting the broad side of a barn - Daniel’s words, not mine - and offered ‘assistance’.
Daniel says Teal’c is a very good teacher - ‘nonjudgemental’ was the word I think he used. I guess Marlin’s pretty much been an ass. So anyway, Teal’c’s teaching him and Daniel doesn’t seem to mind going down there so much any more. His scores have actually increased considerably since he doesn’t have Marlin hanging around making him nervous, so I guess it’s... okay.
I think I’ve come up to the solution of Daniel’s little housing problem. When Katherine left the Stargate project - after Daniel had gone to Abydos and the government had shut us down again - she went to live in Boulder. She asked me look over the condo she’d lived in here. She signed it over to me and asked me to either rent it out or sell it. Between the divorce and re-retiring and therapy - lots of therapy - and going back to the stargate and the SGC, I never thought much about it. I said ‘sure, send the paperwork’ and promptly forgot about it.
She sent the paperwork. I got it from the lawyer today, something about the deed being transferred or some such. Anyway, I figure I’ll rent it to Daniel and solve several problems all at once. I don’t think I’ll tell him that it’s hers though. I’m not sure he’s be willing to accept it if he thought of it as charity or something.
Which, in my opinion, wouldn’t be an all bad thing. I’ve said before that I like company. And more and more I’m getting to like *his* company. When he’s not busy being nervous around me, he’s a fun a guy. I think he’s read every book I own, so to get him back, I started reading a couple of his. Got through about four chapters of one of them before I was bored to tears. Usually I don’t make it through one, so I thought I was doing pretty good. I got him to give me the Cliff Notes version of the rest of it. Truth be told, I really didn’t give a damn about the cultural-linguistic-idiosynchrecies-whatever-the-damn-book-was-about, but the lecture was worth the look on his face because I had bothered to ask.
Most of what he said went over the top of my head; he needs to dumb a lot of this stuff down at least one more level for me; but I like watching how excited he gets when he gets to explain stuff to me. I just wish he’d learn to explain it to me when we get *home*. In the field, I don’t always have time for a half-hour dissertation when a two word phrase would answer my question. And I hate cutting him off because then he just clams up entirely for a while and looks miserable. It’s not that I don’t care about what he does... he just needs... better timing.
I’ve been trying to explain a lot of things to him lately. He doesn’t get the military mindset. “Because it’s an order” isn’t a good reason to do something for Daniel. And I’ll tell you something - it’s changing the way I think. Because I know I’ll have to justify myself to him, I have to justify any action I make to myself first.
And if that doesn’t make for a better C.O., I don’t know what will.
If I sometimes wonder about how bad things are getting for us at home, at least they’re getting better at work.
I’ll be the first to admit that I thought Daniel had no place going through that stargate in the beginning. And then he had the right, but he needed a babysitter. Now... now I think he’s going to be okay. He’ll never be military, and I’m coming to accept that because if he ever did, he wouldn’t be ‘Daniel’ any more.
A few weeks ago I was more worried about him getting the crap beat out of him by ‘us’ a lot more than I was worried about something happening to him out there, because of ‘them’. But he’s learning. Sometimes I think he might be learning the wrong things, but he *is* learning. And unless someone actually does start something physical with him on the base, I think he’ll be able to take care of himself just fine.
He stood up to a Marine Colonel. *I’d* think twice before wising off to one of those. I’d do it, but I’d think twice about it.
Oh and Makepeace, thanks, but I’m perfectly capable of watching my own team’s backsides. Thanks anyway, asshole. (Why the hell does the Air Force need Marines storming around ruining everything anyway?)
Daniel’s standing up to the General too. Well, he’s pretty well done that since day one. I’d never *ever* say this out loud, but Daniel has got Hammond wrapped around his little finger. He may not have been adopted as a kid, but he has been now. Jesus.
I about lost it when Hammond told him he’d won the “science vs. military” argument. He stutters when he gets surprised. It’s cute.
He’d probably flatten me if I ever told him that.
So now we have to actually listen to Daniel when he says he wants to stick around and read the rocks and talk to the natives and whatever.
Ah hell, maybe I shouldn’t bitch so much. It’ll keep him happy. And as long as I don’t go bug-fucking-nuts waiting for him to do it, it might be worth it. I wonder if anyone would notice me slipping a Playboy into my fieldgear. Or at least decent scifi or mystery novel or something.
Daniel gets to lug around books. I’d read his if they didn’t bore me senseless. Of course, I think they’re dictionaries or something equally as scintillating. So I guess I’m back to square one... gotta pick up a few cheap paperbacks.
I guess I’m lucky I can read anything at all again. When I was all screwed up by that ‘touched’ virus I could barely talk, let alone read. I tend to play up the ‘dumb’ thing around Carter and Daniel, but it’s an act. Yeah, they’re so smart they scare the hell out of me sometimes, but I’m only half as dumb as I act. Most of the time. But to know what I wanted to tell Doc Fraiser and to have to work so damn hard just to find and say a few words. That was... not fun.
And then when Teal’c came in and told me he’d lost Daniel on the planet, that he was probably ‘touched’ despite his allergy medicine...
I think prehistoric man was a purely emotional creature. When Teal’c told me that Daniel was gone I thought I would actually cry. Been a long time since I’ve done that. Not even when Kawalsky died. But I didn’t have any other way to express myself. I wasn’t sure I was able to handle what was happening to me and losing another friend so soon all at once.
Teal’c isn’t quite what people expect sometimes. He was so... gentle with me when I was so out of it. Breaking the news to me about Daniel and then tucking me in after Fraiser left. But I had a weird thought before the Benadryl from hell knocked me out. I wished it were Daniel there with me. I don’t know what to make of that. Maybe because he trusts me to see him when he’s vulnerable it would be easier for me to trust him when it’s my turn or something. I’m sure Tavish will have all kind of ideas on that subject, but honestly, I don’t want to analyze it too closely. Daniel’s a good friend. I knew that early on. There’s probably nothing in my life I couldn’t trust him with if it came down to it.
It’s too bad I make him nervous. I’d really rather he didn’t move out, but I know it’ll be for the best. He and Sam are going to be working late debriefing SG-7, so I’ll go out to the apartment and open it up, see what kind of furnishings are there. Tomorrow I’ll call to get the utilities turned back on. If everything is okay, I’ll talk to Daniel about it this weekend.
He’s signing out a car tonight to get home, I’m going to see if he can just sign one out long-term or whenever he needs one or something until he’s had a chance to put some money together to get one of his own. I still can’t imagine trying to start over the way he has.
Hopefully, once he gets settled we can start doing things together after work again. Or... hm... I’m not sure if he’d appreciate this or not... Maybe I’ll get Carter to set up a housewarming for him. Guess I better go check on the place before I make plans any more elaborate than that.