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waldos_writingsTitle: From the Unofficial Reports of Colonel Jack O'Neill - The First Commandment
Posted on or about: August 11, 2000
Rating: R
Pairing: Jack/Daniel, eventually
Word Count: 1070
Summary: "If anyone ever knew I was doing this, I would have them taken out and shot." Jack takes a page from Daniel.
Idiots like Hanson can do more damage to our cause than a herd (flock? pack? gaggle?) of Goa’uld. I mean, we’re out there trying to prove that just having a few high tech toys doesn’t make you a god and what does Hanson do? Run around with a few high tech toys and tell everyone he’s god. Asshole.
I know Carter said she was over him, but it can’t be easy to see someone you once cared about go up in flames like that. Maybe Daniel’s right - the crazier the operative, the more insane their missions. Is that how I got picked for the Stargate project? Hm... if I ever see General West again, I’ll have to ask.
Hanson set fire to one of his own fucking men. We’re trying to do everything we can to protect mankind and he’s out there killing his own. I cannot fathom that. One of the most difficult things I ever did was give the order to close the gate on Charlie Kawalsky. And *he* was technically dead already. I can’t imagine burning one of your own men to death. I can’t think of a worse way to go either. Correction: Psychotic Asshole.
I put Conner in for a commendation (and therapy). Anyone who survives having your C.O. turn into a raving lunatic and risks the kind of wrath that he did, deserves a little recognition. Doesn’t make up for the trauma, just lets you know you didn’t go through it for nothing.
I’m also putting a note in Daniel’s folder. Pretty damn quick thinking out there from our boy. Saved my military ass. He has quite a way about him. I think if he would stop being quite so self-concious, he’d be a natural leader. He can be very convincing when he wants to be. I could tell he was nervous when he was explaining to those people that Hanson was no one’s god - that he (Daniel) could do what Hanson couldn’t and that he wasn’t a god - but I don’t think anyone else noticed. He had a mission - to save my ass - and goddammit no one was going to stop him. Ya gotta love it.
I don’t think we ever doubted that Carter could kick that Mongol guy’s ass. And you can’t ‘fight’ a disease like that prehistoric Broken Division thing, so this was probably the first time he’s ever really faced the idea of losing a teammate to a psycho. And to top things off, it was one of OUR psychos.
I’d never confess this to anyone, but it’s a little humbling to have been saved by the geek. I tend to shoot first, ask questions later. Nice macho response to a threat. After this I have to re-evaluate this as an operational philosophy. Daniel never threatened anyone, never aimed a weapon. He out-thought the bad-guys. Other than the natives giving Hanson exactly what he deserved, we got out of that whole thing without any more blood being shed. Because Daniel was in charge.
Now, that said, he better start fucking listening to me when *I’m* in charge. When I say “Wake up and move it,” he needs to do it, not argue with me. Another five inches and that arrow would have gone in one ear and out the other. Not unlike many of my orders, only it would have caused a lot more damage. I don’t think I let on how much that bothered me. But I’m discovering that protecting Daniel is becoming almost as important as protecting myself. He’s certified with the pistol now (and isn’t that a long story I don’t want to get into?) but I still don’t think he has enough self-preservation instinct to take complete care of himself. All I know at this point is that he can hit a stationary target. Even if he could point it at someone, I doubt he could carry through with the threat.
I suppose that’s bleeding into the whole moving-out-and-getting-an-apartment thing. I don’t want him to go. He’ll work himself to death-by-starvation (unless he’s found a way to survive on caffeine alone) if nothing else.
But you know... the fact that I’m feeling so... proprietary, preoccupied, and protective (hey look, alliteration. See Daniel, I do know *something* about the English language) of him, it’s a big old clue that he needs to get his own place. We are spending *way* too much time together if I’m starting to act like this after only knowing the guy for a little less than three months. Well... three months *this* time.
I went over the Katherine’s apartment right before that last mission. The place needs a serious dusting. I thought about doing it myself, but she’s got... artifacts and stuff there. I mean, it looks like the whole of Ancient Egypt migrated into her living room. So I called a service. I’d break something irreplaceable and not even know what it was. They’re going to go in there and open the place up for me - for him - tomorrow. I had the electricity turned back on (god, I hope she at least cleaned the fridge. Eww...) and once I actually convince him to take the place, I’ll get the gas, water and phone set up.
I have made eight zillion excuses to myself why I don’t just throw him and his stuff in the car tonight and get this over with, but I can’t seem to do it. My current working rationale is that we’re both still coming off this mission and it would look like I disapproved of something he did if I just came home and kicked him out.
Sounds good, right?
Saturday. We’re not scheduled to ship out again until next Tuesday, so I figure we’ll go out there the day after tomorrow. We’ll have a little distance from the last mission and a little time before the next.
I have no idea *how* I’m going to do this. In the end it’s all going to come down to “I really like you, but I’m kicking you out anyway.”
Maybe I should give it time. Maybe we’ll sort it out. Learn to live together.
Maybe things will deteriorate beyond repair and I’ll lose one of the better friends I’ve made in recent history.
Saturday. I’ll take him over there, hand over the keys... and hope like hell he’s still speaking to me on Sunday.
Posted on or about: August 11, 2000
Rating: R
Pairing: Jack/Daniel, eventually
Word Count: 1070
Summary: "If anyone ever knew I was doing this, I would have them taken out and shot." Jack takes a page from Daniel.
Idiots like Hanson can do more damage to our cause than a herd (flock? pack? gaggle?) of Goa’uld. I mean, we’re out there trying to prove that just having a few high tech toys doesn’t make you a god and what does Hanson do? Run around with a few high tech toys and tell everyone he’s god. Asshole.
I know Carter said she was over him, but it can’t be easy to see someone you once cared about go up in flames like that. Maybe Daniel’s right - the crazier the operative, the more insane their missions. Is that how I got picked for the Stargate project? Hm... if I ever see General West again, I’ll have to ask.
Hanson set fire to one of his own fucking men. We’re trying to do everything we can to protect mankind and he’s out there killing his own. I cannot fathom that. One of the most difficult things I ever did was give the order to close the gate on Charlie Kawalsky. And *he* was technically dead already. I can’t imagine burning one of your own men to death. I can’t think of a worse way to go either. Correction: Psychotic Asshole.
I put Conner in for a commendation (and therapy). Anyone who survives having your C.O. turn into a raving lunatic and risks the kind of wrath that he did, deserves a little recognition. Doesn’t make up for the trauma, just lets you know you didn’t go through it for nothing.
I’m also putting a note in Daniel’s folder. Pretty damn quick thinking out there from our boy. Saved my military ass. He has quite a way about him. I think if he would stop being quite so self-concious, he’d be a natural leader. He can be very convincing when he wants to be. I could tell he was nervous when he was explaining to those people that Hanson was no one’s god - that he (Daniel) could do what Hanson couldn’t and that he wasn’t a god - but I don’t think anyone else noticed. He had a mission - to save my ass - and goddammit no one was going to stop him. Ya gotta love it.
I don’t think we ever doubted that Carter could kick that Mongol guy’s ass. And you can’t ‘fight’ a disease like that prehistoric Broken Division thing, so this was probably the first time he’s ever really faced the idea of losing a teammate to a psycho. And to top things off, it was one of OUR psychos.
I’d never confess this to anyone, but it’s a little humbling to have been saved by the geek. I tend to shoot first, ask questions later. Nice macho response to a threat. After this I have to re-evaluate this as an operational philosophy. Daniel never threatened anyone, never aimed a weapon. He out-thought the bad-guys. Other than the natives giving Hanson exactly what he deserved, we got out of that whole thing without any more blood being shed. Because Daniel was in charge.
Now, that said, he better start fucking listening to me when *I’m* in charge. When I say “Wake up and move it,” he needs to do it, not argue with me. Another five inches and that arrow would have gone in one ear and out the other. Not unlike many of my orders, only it would have caused a lot more damage. I don’t think I let on how much that bothered me. But I’m discovering that protecting Daniel is becoming almost as important as protecting myself. He’s certified with the pistol now (and isn’t that a long story I don’t want to get into?) but I still don’t think he has enough self-preservation instinct to take complete care of himself. All I know at this point is that he can hit a stationary target. Even if he could point it at someone, I doubt he could carry through with the threat.
I suppose that’s bleeding into the whole moving-out-and-getting-an-apartment thing. I don’t want him to go. He’ll work himself to death-by-starvation (unless he’s found a way to survive on caffeine alone) if nothing else.
But you know... the fact that I’m feeling so... proprietary, preoccupied, and protective (hey look, alliteration. See Daniel, I do know *something* about the English language) of him, it’s a big old clue that he needs to get his own place. We are spending *way* too much time together if I’m starting to act like this after only knowing the guy for a little less than three months. Well... three months *this* time.
I went over the Katherine’s apartment right before that last mission. The place needs a serious dusting. I thought about doing it myself, but she’s got... artifacts and stuff there. I mean, it looks like the whole of Ancient Egypt migrated into her living room. So I called a service. I’d break something irreplaceable and not even know what it was. They’re going to go in there and open the place up for me - for him - tomorrow. I had the electricity turned back on (god, I hope she at least cleaned the fridge. Eww...) and once I actually convince him to take the place, I’ll get the gas, water and phone set up.
I have made eight zillion excuses to myself why I don’t just throw him and his stuff in the car tonight and get this over with, but I can’t seem to do it. My current working rationale is that we’re both still coming off this mission and it would look like I disapproved of something he did if I just came home and kicked him out.
Sounds good, right?
Saturday. We’re not scheduled to ship out again until next Tuesday, so I figure we’ll go out there the day after tomorrow. We’ll have a little distance from the last mission and a little time before the next.
I have no idea *how* I’m going to do this. In the end it’s all going to come down to “I really like you, but I’m kicking you out anyway.”
Maybe I should give it time. Maybe we’ll sort it out. Learn to live together.
Maybe things will deteriorate beyond repair and I’ll lose one of the better friends I’ve made in recent history.
Saturday. I’ll take him over there, hand over the keys... and hope like hell he’s still speaking to me on Sunday.